


Funny How Reflections Change

by inveigler81



Category: Oxenfree
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 09:31:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8619079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inveigler81/pseuds/inveigler81
Summary: Alex and Clarissa try to come to terms with their feelings for each other and how to break their burgeoning relationship to their friends.





	

‘You haven’t told him yet have you?’ It’s not exactly an accusation, her voice just always has that edge to it. They stand together in the twilight on the board walk, looking out to sea. Anywhere but at Edwards.

‘No. I don’t know how. I don’t know how he’ll react,’

‘Oh, please! You’re telling me his little stoner brain won’t have some kind of pervy nerdgasm about the two of us together?!’ She sneers around the cigarette she’s lighting. Alex lets out a sigh and looks down at the inky water lapping the dock. She never thought she’d find that sound calming ever again.

‘Ok, maybe just try to dial down the venom for, I don’t know, five minutes?’

‘Sorry,’ Clarissa looks sideways at her. Her eyes say she means it as she lets the smoke go out of the corner of her mouth.

‘He’s still my best friend. Besides, I think whatever gutter minded thoughts he has usually tend to be reserved for Nona,’

‘Don’t remind me! I still can’t believe she’s up for being pawed by that sweaty palmed little goober,’ her smile crooks again. Alex can’t help but scowl at her.

‘Again…best friend!’

‘Sorry, I can’t help it!’ Her smile becomes less snarky, more sad. She runs her free hand through her hair, the red haloed by the nearest lamp.

‘You know, you really don’t make this easy!’ She wants to sound exasperated but she can’t help but smile back.

‘I said I was sorry didn’t I?’ She puts her free hand against Alex’s cheek, fingertips tickling in her hair. She flicks away the cigarette, tugs her closer by the front of her jacket. She kisses her with that same mix of want and hesitance, tasting like smoke and sunlight and cherries. They stand a moment, eyes closed, foreheads pressed. Alex can never help but break a silence.

‘How did Nona take it?’

‘Um…’

‘You haven’t told her either have you?!’ Alex’s turn to point the finger.

‘Well…’

‘Are you kidding me?!’

‘I just don’t feel like being judged, alright?!’ Clarissa snaps and turns away, ‘I just know that all I’ll hear is how I’m taking advantage of you and projecting my grief and blah blah psycho babble!’ She leans on the rail, stares back out into the gathering darkness.

‘Is…that, what you’re doing?’ Alex can’t keep all of the fear out of her voice.

‘No!’ Clarissa turns back to her, something wild in her own eyes, ‘Are you?!’

‘No! God, no!’ She puts her hands on Clarissa’s shoulders. Touch seems to be the only thing that they don’t misinterpret these days. ‘Urgh! Why does this have to be so hard?!?’

‘You want out?’ Clarissa makes it sound more like an offer. Alex just steps in close, her hand going up into her hair. She loses a few minutes in what the curve of her back feels like rather than worrying what people think. They hold onto one another, everything easy for that briefest of moments.

‘What about Jonas?’ Clarissa asks her from somewhere above her head.

‘He’s not an idiot and he’s not too busy being lovestruck, he figured it out,’ Alex looks up into her face, chews on her own lip.

‘Great. Does this mean I’m in line for some kind of protective brother “talk”?’ The clouds cast back over her face and she turns back to the rail.

‘I don’t think so. I mean, not yet at least. I think it kind of broke his brain,’ Alex sniffs out part of a laugh at the thought.

‘Why? What’d he say?’

‘Oh, something like “Clarissa? Wow!…huh…interesting choice…”,’ They share a smile. Alex reaches down, takes her hand. ‘You feeling ok?’

‘Yeah, why?’ She looks confused.

‘It’s been almost five minutes and you haven’t insulted anyone,’ Alex teases her.

‘You must be rubbing off on me,’

‘Yeah…never, ever say anything like that in front of Ren,’ 

‘Oh god, ew!’

~

‘Are you kidding me?!? Alex – she’s Michael’s girlfriend!! Do you have any idea how unhealthy that is?! Not to mention the fact that she’s a bitch!’ Ren looks like he’s about to have a seizure. It’s not helped by the fact he’s talking loud enough for everyone in the diner to hear.

‘Dude, calm down!’ Jonas steps in. Alex hopes the look she gives him expresses her gratitude. Ren just turns his whole self-righteous indignation on him instead.

‘Oh, you knew about this already?! Of course you did! Why are you even here anyway?!’

‘I was…hungry?’ His own calm is a complete counterpoint. He shovels another handful of fries into his mouth. Ren looks like he’s about to say something pissy but she doesn’t give him the chance.

‘Yes, of course he did, Ren! He’s my brother, we live together, we share things!’ She tries to ignore the feeling of Jonas’ eyes on her. The missing “step” is new.

‘Adorable!’ Ren fumes, he stares down at his plate.

‘God, why are you being such a dick?! You think I don’t know this is messed up? I’m telling you because you’re my best friend and because I didn’t want you to hear about it from anyone else. Here I was thinking you might actually try to be supportive!!’ Alex loses it with him.

‘What, why? Cos of me and Nona? That place wasn’t a couples retreat, Alex! Surviving the low-tech version of the Poltergeist doesn’t change the fact this is just…weird!!’

‘You were going to say “wrong” weren’t you?’ Her tone is acid.

‘Well…’ He goads her further with a “you said it!” kind of shrug.

‘Y’know, I don’t know why I even bothered!’ She throws up her hands.

‘Let’s all just try to bring it down a notch, ok?’ Jonas interjects around a mouthful of burger.

‘How are you so ok with this?!’ Ren snaps at him.

‘Gee Ren, I don’t know, I guess maybe after nearly having my soul ripped out and replaced I’m just about people finding the happy!’ He looks at him challengingly, then down at his mac and cheese. ‘Y’know if you’re not gonna eat that…’

‘Y’know what, I’m just gonna go,’ Alex slides out of the booth and throws on her jacket. Ren falters.

‘Alex, I’m sorry, ok? I just…I don’t…’ he just sort of peters out. ‘What about your food?’ he ends lamely.

‘I’m sure Chunk here’ll take care of it for me,’ she slaps a hand on Jonas’ shoulder as she turns to go.

‘Chunk?! Of all the Goonies, I am so not Chunk!’ 

‘I’ll see you at home,’

~

She walks for an hour before she feels her anger start to ebb away. She’s so distracted that she doesn’t even notice them sitting on the bench in the dark.

‘Alex!’ She stops with a start, turns to see Nona coming towards her. She’s relieved to see the other person is Clarissa, not Ren.

‘Oh, hey!’ And then Nona’s hugging her, ‘Ah…ok…awkward…’ She looks passed her and gives Clarissa her best WTF face. Clarissa just smiles and shrugs.

‘Don’t be silly!’ Nona lets her go with a big goofy smile on her face, her voice that same calm, measured music.

‘You mean…wait, this is ok with you?!’ She makes random hand gestures back and forth between her and Clarissa for no apparent reason.

‘Well I wouldn’t say anything stupid like “match made in heaven” or anything…’

‘Not after recent events,’ Clarissa puts in.

‘…right. But still, I haven’t seen her this happy in months. So, if you’re like butterflies and unicorns for her, then I am more than ok with it,’ If anything her smile gets bigger and goofier. It’s kind of infectious. Clarissa looks like she wants to curl up and die.

‘Ok, if the earth could just swallow me now…’

‘Are you alright? You look upset,’ Nona squints at Alex.

‘Oh, it’s nothing. I just wish Ren was as open minded as you are!’

‘Why? What happened?’ It comes out in bits but she’s still so wound that it turns ranty pretty fast. She feels better once it’s out but regrets how pissed Clarissa looks. Nona doesn’t look the least bit concerned.

‘Don’t worry, he’ll come around,’ She states confidently.

‘You think so?’ Alex doesn’t sound convinced.

‘Well, if that little jerkwad…’ Clarissa starts in on one.

‘No, we talked about this,’ Nona instantly shuts her down with a look.

‘Fine!’ All her abortive sarcasm gets crammed into the one word.

‘Don’t worry, I can be very persuasive,’ Nona tells Alex meaningfully.

‘Yeah, ok, I really don’t want to know!’ Some mental images you just never need.

‘See you tomorrow,’ she gives Alex another quick hug before moving off. Alex goes and sits down next to Clarissa.

‘So…seems like your talk went better than mine,’ she observes, looking up at the stars.

‘She’s pretty amazing,’

‘So…butterflies and unicorns huh?’

‘Oh, shut up!’

~

‘No!’ Clarissa flatly refuses as they lie together in the dark.

‘Oh come on! It’s the only way we’re ever going to make this normal!’

‘So what is it now then? Abnormal?’ And the snark is back already.

‘You know that’s not what I meant! I’m just tired of having to deal with the elephant in the room!’ She explains. Clarissa is quiet for a moment, then looks annoyed ‘What is it?’

‘I’m just irritated that I couldn’t find a way to insult him involving pachyderms,’ Alex can’t help but smile at her.

‘It’ll be fine. It might even be fun – we haven’t all done anything together since it happened,’

‘There’s a reason for that – I think the appropriate acronym is PTSD,’

‘We need to move on, all of us. We need to get past this,’ she sounds more earnest than she means to.

‘What if he’s right?’ Clarissa asks suddenly.

‘What?’

‘You’re his kid sister, Alex. I’m…I was, his girlfriend…those things are never going to change,’ she sounds strained, almost guilty.

‘Y’know what else is never going to change?’

‘What’s that?’

‘How right this feels,’ Alex kisses her shoulder, then rests her chin on it. Clarissa smiles at her, some of the tension washing away.

‘Alright, fine! What do I have to do?’ She groans.

‘Turn up. Smile politely. Try not to verbally eviscerate him,’ Clarissa frowns at her.

‘You’re lucky you’re cute,’

‘Anyway, we’re going to have bigger problems,’ Alex lets out a long sigh and stares up at the ceiling.

‘Such as?’

‘What the hell do we tell our parents?’

‘Yeah…that’s definitely a conversation for a time other than now,’

~

‘So, still with the beanie, huh?’ Clarissa tries to make conversation as they wait in the lobby of the theatre.

‘Yeah…why?’

‘Oh, nothing,’

‘Be nice!’ Alex squeezes her hand.

‘This is me being nice!’

‘Oh, there they are!’ Alex observes and waves as Ren and Nona walk in. There’s a moment of supremely awkward tension.

‘Hi,’ Ren greets Clarissa tersely.

‘Hi,’ Clarissa manages to make one syllable withering.

‘So, should we get the “If you hurt her, I’ll kill you” stuff out of the way now?’ Alex face palms at Ren’s standardised social ineptitude. To her credit, Clarissa just smiles.

‘You do know that would be more effective if I found either you or him remotely intimidating, right?’

‘You did yours already?!’ Ren looks to Jonas, something like heartbroken.

‘Kinda,’ he shrugs.

‘Wait, that’s what that was supposed to be?’ Clarissa looks a little incredulous.

‘Ok – beyond uncomfortable!’ Alex intervenes.

‘Look – it’s fine. Point taken. You hurt Nona and they’ll never find the body,’ Clarissa, you actually believe.

‘You gotta teach me how to do that,’ Ren actually sounds genuinely admiring.

‘Hey, look! Popcorn!’ Alex stage points. Jonas takes the hint and steers Ren toward the registers. Nona trails with him, their fingers entwined.

‘Thank you,’ Alex looks at her.

‘Whatever makes you happy,’ she replies and, for once, she takes Alex’s hand.

‘I think that’s pretty much taken care of,’ Alex smiles and shuffles her feet.

‘Come on,’

‘I’m just saying, that’s a lotta snacks…’ Ren is busy observing.

‘I am not Chunk!!’

‘We really need to find Jonas a girl.’


End file.
